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Possessed focus dash

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Its happened to me, the Focus 1.6 ghia 55 plate dash panel joke. I have read most of the posts and must brag that my car tops the lot. Nicknamed Christine after the cult car movie that killed its drivers well mine is attempting the same.
I get full panel lights all but for the indicators, transmission warning, engine fault warning, reduced speed warning, beeps an whistles like a boing 747 in stall mode, cruise control speeding the car up by itself, boot lid opens, zero,s on all dials including gear selection, hard auto gear changes up and down gears, and a no restart if you switch off unless you wait 10 mins or operate the ignition 25 times. I just hope Watchdog can come up with a fix please. I have had it diagnosed by 4 garages and no faults reported, not even an engine light staying on. At the moment I am thinking of spraying the dash electrics with varnish to ward off damp,also if I put the blowers on the footwell it seem to make it happen early. Once vehicle rested overnight as good as gold for 2/3 days. Comments please as to how I can approach Fords about it or am I throwing money away. Might just store the car until I can get a scrap dash and have it programmed.

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