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Commuting problem

Hi everyone,

I just saw Fury Road and I think if I were to attach a psychopath wielding a guitar/flamethrower combo to my bonnet it might speed up my journey home through rush hour traffic "I'd get out of the way wouldn't you?"

As I drive a mini I will need to scale the operation down somewhat but figured a smaller guitarist would suffice
I figured I could find the vertically challenged guitarist/psychopath via Craig's list but need advice on building a suitable platform for him to be harnessed to and a way to attach a wall of amps to the rear of a mini clubman.

Any suggestions?

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